SWISS ARMY KNIFE

male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.

KIDNEYS

female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.

SHOE

male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out.

COPIER

female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up. Because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons are pushed. Because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.

TYRE

male, because it goes bald and often is over inflated.

HOT AIR BALLOON

male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it... and, of course, there's the hot air part.

SPONGES

female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.

WEB PAGE

female, because it is always getting hit on.

SUBWAY

male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

HOURGLASS

female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

HAMMER

male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.

REMOTE  CONTROL

female... Ha! You thought I'd say male. But consider it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying !