Concert tickets for sale

They will be performing " How Deep is Your Bruv " ?

Any takers?

Rumour has it that in the hospital the doctor said he would be staying alive, but since, the remaining brothers have said this was just jive talkin', their telling him lies.

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No pantomime for Barrymore this year, he's already done Aladdin.

(after he was investigated for the death of a boy in his swimming pool)

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Barry and Robin Gibb are walking in the hospital's garden, trying to come to terms with their brother's sudden passing. As they go from

the Rose Garden into the Herb Garden they hear a voice. Suddenly, Barry stops and says, "Did you hear that Robin? It sounds like

Maurice trying to contact us from the grave."

Robin turns to him and says; 'Don't be silly Barry, that's just the

ch ch ch chives talkin'.......

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Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.

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 My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours. That was only for the estimate.

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 We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

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 If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The Dog of course.. at least he'll shut up after you let him in!

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 A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled

"It really works!"

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  What's the difference between a goldfish and a mountain goat ?

One mucks about in fountains, the other doesn't.

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What do you call a black necktie salesman ?

a tie-coon

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